FRI 12TH NOV 2010

Hello

Today I woke around 3.30pm,fully clothed, with my jacket and shoes on and a very unpalatable taste of baileys and chilli sauce.
Now I know what your thinking "Oh please Sophie, don't tell me about your apparently hilarious late night drinking shenanigans,else I'll have no choice but to pop you along to Dignitas for the sake of your own human rights"..and you'd be right..its never funny, its not even sad, its just shit and arse, puerile drivel,spume,Piss-sandwiches.

• "Oh my god like I was totally fucking wasted last night, I showed a tramp my tits and farted into a charity box!!!"
• "Hahahahaha, Last night was well funny, I drunk 15 litres of sambuca and then this girl started dancing with me,so I raped her...Dans got photos...I'll Facebook you man"
• "You would not believe how fucked I was last night, I must have had 10 to 12 drugs, my eyes swole up and now I have cataracts...fucking genius."
• "You missed a corker last night mate,we all played drinking games and shagged each others girlfriends, and then Jeff took two E's snorted a bottle of Cillit Bang,wanked off a cat and his Kidneys failed and he died!!."

and my least favorite...

• "Ooohhh fuck me, what a night, none of us really have anything in common and lack basic social skills,so we decided to dress up as like fucking cowboys or whatever.We like went to some bar somewhere,where we shouted at the bar staff, coz like were all training to be lawyers or fucking teachers and are like loads better than them and then danced to chart music and like some people fingered each other in a bin or whatever, It was hilarious, it really made us all feel like we were having a good time, even though we wer'nt, we were all crying inside because it was like the pre-cursor to a life filled with Saturday supermarket visits,bi-annual trips to Malaga with the screaming selfish little bastards, we're all gonna pop out with the first girl we meet that doesn't annoy us that much and turns a blind eye to all the unsatisfying affairs we'll have because our self esteem evaporated around about the same time our imagination did.Class!!!."

Essentially we have all done this, its very difficult not to, because for the majority of most peoples 20's, life centres around getting as inebriated as possible to console all our recently smashed hopes and aspirations.Four years ago, I had a plan. I now realise that plan, the one I had centred all my hope, effort and passion towards, is about as realistic as a 15 foot sentient hatstand finding a cure for death.

This is why, I feel excused for my insufferable open-ended cynicism and for filling my life with a series of transparent distractions.

I don't feel its ever going to get me anywhere however and I know full well I should go about doing things that would be easier to write about enthusiastically. In fact I SHOULD have so much arse-rippingly exciting shit going on that I'd have to hire a butler to write about it for me, whilst I was busy jumping out of a plane with a paper parachute on,on fire, adorned with barbed wire,with automatic machine guns firing bullets shaped like swords at me continuously for some charity to save the kiddies or whatever.

Alas,with everything else in life I fear even with my best efforts that would be difficult to achieve, so I'm taking the advice of all the condescending twat-cocklers, who essentially don't have the balls to tell me I'm never really going anywhere, and I'm starting small.

This is today's brain discharge:

I will set about finding shit out, about shit that I didn't know shit all about before.

Once a day I will endeavor to research a subject, I know little or nothing about. This can be useful to me in two ways: 1. I will build up a better picture of the world around me and how it works, enhancing my knowledge, dispelling ignorance and prejudices and giving me a better platform on which to make the important decisions in life. 2. I can be a proper smug twat and laugh at other people for not knowing all the shit I know.Har Har little stoopid dum dums *waggles finger over lips whilst making a 'durrr' noise*

Today I learnt:

The Persian melon, binomial name cucumis melo is a type of melon. It is orange in colour and has a strongly netted, unridged rind. It is also known as the "Patelquat". These are most commonly found wild in all western countries and in its native Iran. The Patelquat has a sharp, bitter taste and is not aesthetically very pleasing, however, once cooked, the taste waters down into a more mellow, palatable flavour

With these rules of conduct,surely the path ahead is gaining intellectual altitude.

for now,its biscuit time,probably a Kit Kat, fuck it two Kit Kats, Ive earned it.

Till tomorrow, faithful few

Goodnight.

xx